Sometimes it feels as though entire hominid species have evolved in less time than it takes to read “The Land of Painted Caves,” the sixth and. 1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER In The Land of Painted Caves, Jean M. Auel brings her ice-age epic series, Earth’s Children®, to an extraordinary. Map of the travels of Ayla of the Mamutoi and Zelandonii in the book ‘The Land of Painted Caves’ by Jean Auel. This is the right way up to look.

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September 22, by Cassandra Parkin. After slogging through the first five instalments, there was never any doubt that I was going to buy this one as well. There is a lot — no, really, a lot — of repetition.

The Mother Song is utter drivel, the central characters ceased being in lainted way interesting about a thousand pages ago, and there are entire sections that read more like the Rough Guide To Paleolithic France than a work of imaginative fiction.

The series is set in the Upper Paleolithic era. The earth is in the grip of an Ice Age, xuel two species of humans — Neanderthals and Cro-Magnons — are busy figuring out who will inherit the Earth.

One of these five books is brilliant. Auel did a lot of research before writing her first book; she did survival courses, cavves from experts in Aboriginal culture, and probably went camping a lot. Although some of her basic premises for example, the idea that the Neanderthals were basically silent and communicated through signs have since been challenged by new research, at the time they represented cutting-edge thinking about the origins of human civilisation.

The attributes we, as readers, admire — her resourcefulness, her intelligence, her adaptability — are frowned on by the Clan, which has strict segregation of roles by gender and is genetically incapable of learning new ideas. In the first book, nothing comes easily to Ayla. She is constantly battling to balance her innate difference with the need to conform. In a particularly painful episode, she is raped by a Clan man, conceiving the baby she desperately longs for.

Her child half-Clan, half-Cro-Magnon jdan clearly the genetic hope of the Clan, since children like him are the only way their gene-pool will make it into the future. This episode is the book in microcosm — the battle between the old and the new, the reluctance to accept difference, and the precarious balance that finally allows Durc to survive. It describes lqnd glacially slow but inevitable uael of Jondalar who is undertaking a sort of Lf Grand Tour with his brother Thonalan and Ayla.

Jondalar and Thonalan walk the earth, meet people, discover stuff, have adventures, and have really quite a lot of sex.

Adventures In Trash: “The Land of Painted Caves” by Jean Auel | Cassandra Parkin

So by way of compensation, in Book Two we get a Cro-Magnon society which is its polar opposite. Specifically, we get Jondalar. Jondalar is six foot tall with blond hair, blue eyes and a big knob. All of this is described in a weird combination of Solemn Capitalisation and yucky anatomical detail. Sex scenes in books normally cheer me up immensely, but these just squitted me right out.

Note for the future: So, Jondalar and Thonalan wander the earth, spreading the seed and meeting new people. She discovers how to make sparks with iron pyrites and flint, thus eliminating the need for twirly sticks when making fire.

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The Land of Painted Caves

She tames the first horse, and then gets all uppity and tames the first cat in fact, the first Cave Lion. She builds the first prey-catching pit. She cooks delicious meals. How could any man resist? There is then a whole lot of really very tiresome stuff where Jondalar teaches Ayla to speak using words. The Clan, being basically silent, use sign-language. Even Auel gets bored of pwinted in the end, and Ayla has some sort of convenient dream-based brainstorm and wakes up with a perfect command of Cro-Magnon language.

And then…they have sex for the first time. Did I mention that Painyed has a really big knob? Well, I now have painte break it to you that the reason Ayla and Jondalar are clearly, like, destined for each other is because she is able to fit all of his outsized manhood inside her Magical Cave Of Wonders. See, as long as Ayla is struggling to adapt and survive, the story is fascinating.

Now she can psychically track animals, and see the future. Every man who paintex eyes on her fancies her. Okay, I made the last bit up.

Where do they live? They live in the Caves at Lascaux. It was during this book that I invented Auel Bingo, where you count off how many of thee following events occur in any given chapter.

There can be no more. And then, for no good painteed that I can account for, since after five best-sellers she must, must have made enough money to not need to do it, Jean Auel wrote another. But of course it is! How is it fair to expect her and Jondalar to go off and have adventures on top of everything else? Secondly, there is a lot of wandering around caves, looking at paintings.

The Land of Painted Caves by Jean M. Auel | : Books

Thirdly, a lot of reviewers seem to have taken exception to the end-of-book drama moment, where both Jondalar and Ayla have affairs. Once again I say to you; duh.

Sometimes, this is what happens. The basic narrative unit goes like this. If you turned Auel Bingo into a drinking game, you could probably be calling people up to tell them you loved them and staggering into doorframes within the first six chapters. But, again — this was all entirely predictable from the previous book.

Again, people, what did you think was going to happen? The entire narrative drive of the intervening four-thousand-and-odd pages has been leading her towards this destination. Why act all hurt and upset because she finally got there? You may now ask the really obvious question. If you knew this book would be crap, and did not think much of the previous ones either the brilliant opening book exceptedwhatever possessed you to spend more than ten of your fine English pounds downloading the thing onto your Kindle?

The only answer I have is, Why do people run marathons? My advice is to save a tree and go for the Kindle edition. The planet will thank you in the long run. Funnily enough, I have just this week finished book 5, and have been put off reading the last book by the reviews, which is almost unheard of for me. Will i really regret not finishing the series, do you think?

Thanks for your great observations. Land of Painted Caves. I just ordered this book on Amazon. Paijted, just 10 minutes ago. I had a feeling the book would be just as you discribed.


Shelters of Stone is the first book I ever skimmed through towards the end as I could tell what was coming, plus all the repetition of the family lineage made it move faster caes skim through. I guess I am a glutton for punishment. And enjoy the many, many iterations of Mother Song. Thank you for your review Cassandra which I know is nearly three years old but it made me laugh a lot.

But after pages I really needed a reality check… Ov kept hauling up garbage. After reading several other reviews which uniformly bagged it, which all made me choke laughing at my stupidity, imagining that there could be some actual imagination and creativity and quality left in this saga of sagas, I finally got to yours. I have now put the mostly unread book on the pile for the op shop. Thank you for saving me from a fate worse than death.

Just a dumb, dumb, dumb book that is so appallingly bad. The ausl must be using the takings to buy herself a nice dorm room in the local dementia cavs. My life cavea too short. I expect the only time I will read it is if I end up doing life in gaol or something. I later found it to be clunky, awkward, and quite frankly, I can write better.

She felt safe in his six foot six embrace, inhaling his scent as he dug his large hands into the mane of luxurious hair framing her pale face.

Th felt the sudden irritation of her tight trousers, pleasurable in a strange kind of way as her own need slaked her taut thighs. She could feel the cave rock cavea need in him, urgent, insisting, between them like a wild animal. Oggi voglio essere proprio prosaico: Molto dopo che asteroide in collisione col nostro pianeta frantumasse tutto un continente di terre emerse chiamato Gondwana e abitato da dinosauri, grandi rettili i cui ossi vennero poi scambiati per quelli di giganti, Marte andava desertificandosi.

La sua catastrofe ecologica era tale che Iddio volle salvarne uno di quella specie: Cammina cammina, al campo tutte le notarono il ventre e le mammelle gonfi. Il nuovo capobranco ne rimase sconcertato: Che fosse stato, allora, lui a ingravidarla col suo sguardo! Inoltre possedeva un gran numero di ribosomi a livello cellulare e il tocco delle sue mani era considerato terapeutico, a causa del fluido sottile, energetico, che esse sprigionavano.

E il rosso sangue gli faceva fare dei brutti sogni in un campo totalmente grigio. E venne il tempo di abbandonare la foresta pluviale e di cacciare nella savana, regno di predatori e di carogne in cui egli seguiva il bufalo dalla coda bianca, ricca fonte di sostentamento, nei loro spostamenti. I figli di Zamani: Le figlie di costui: Costei ebbe molti figli, tra cui Afan, che in Enotria ebbe due gemelle che migrarono nei Balcani: E accaddero degli straordinari terremoti e paurosi smottamenti: E lungo la cosiddetta Via della Seta essi incisero thr rocce degli strani omini stilizzati chiamati Mwana, e in un luogo oggi desertico esiste ancora un tipo di scrittura simile: Quattro disegni elementari in sequenza: